HopeOK I do feel for you and again Starsky much good advice. This last weekend W was going to Chicago with married girlfriends the kids were to be with grandma and I was going fishing with friends.
Well D9 got sick on Wednesday and S13 got sick on Friday morning. If I skipped my trip we would be out the cost of bait. If she missed her trip we would be out the hotel room. Since it was W's birthday on Saturday I cancelled my trip.
I don't think that my S13 made it to the toilet once. As you may imagine it was not a real good weekend. I did not call my W but did talk to her when my S13 called her and I wished her a Happy Birthday.
W came home on Sunday at noon at said that she missed all of us and gave me a hug a kiss. We then took my D9 to a movie and then had SIL for a cookout and birthday cake for W. It was a nice night.
W knew that I had some business by her hospital and asked if I would bring her lunch. Since we were getting along I agreed and it was nice the first time we had been on a date in over a year. W then came home and we the went to work out. She told me that she was looking forward to hanging out with her friends in another 4-5 weeks.
I then mumbled that I would be looking forward to that if I did not have to deal with sick kids. W then said I was smothering her and I responded that it must be hard to keep all the guys she is with straight. When we got home WWIII started.
We told me that if my S13 was not autistic she would have been gone a long time ago and that I know how she feels about our R and me. Tonight's workout was intense so the fight was interrupted by me puking.
Told her that I was not mad about the weekend away but I was beat this weekend and I really did not want to hear about future plans. Shen the stated the following:
1. For 14 years we have been putting the kids first and they are getting older and do not need us to exclusively watching them and that it is good for them to be with our families;
2. That it has been bottling up in her that she does not get a break and that she is more than a wife/mom;
3. That is good for both of us to get away to do things without each other and the kids and that I should not be looking at this like it is a punishment;
4. That it makes her a better mom/wife to get some alone time;
5. That she is not used to me spending time with her like I have been.
W then said that this is not a punishment and that it helped her relax and she has been much more relaxed.
She then told me that I she has not and has no intentions of having an affair. I the stated that since she was taking a part time job she could have time to have an A. She then reponded need that her first priority was to be home for the kids and be the mom that she has been wanting to be for months now.
I then validated what she said and told her that her wanting time to herself was understandable but it kind of caught me off guard.
As you can see there are ton of mixed messages in this. With the exception of tonight this was the first fight we had in over a month. Topics that in the past would have started a fight (money) our now being discussed with us even raising our voices.
