Huge Backslide After Affair Recovery

[hopeOK]

Update.

After yesterday's deal where I felt like he was just playing games, I decidwd to put a voice activated recorder in the car he drives. Listened to it tonight. He uses speech to text a lot so I'm lucky on that. He is having communication with OW again. He told her about our confrontation yesterday & he said he is getting tired of me. He also asked her about some response she had made to his "apology" ... He wanted her to tell him what she had said. So I guess he apologized for how things ended? I dunno, really. He isn't callings & talking to her so that is different. (They talked so much on the phone before.) He is not saying anything lovey dovey, at least not today. I plan to keep recording to see what I find.

I was in the house a long time while he was swimming out with the kids. He finally sent one of the kids in to see if I was coming out. He might have seen me looking out of our bedroom window (I was making sure he didn't come in & find me w/ the recorder).

I feel so much better in one way... I feel more like I have a bit of the upper hand. So what to do next?? I will keep listening but what else. I need all the advice I can get! My thoughts are to see if their relationship is anything more than friendly. I think he would already be doing more than what he is doing but I think she is setting boundaries. (She was thinking they should end it when I first found out.)

If it is just friendly stuff, I want to draw a line. If it is an affair, I think I will leave w/ the kids. Any thoughts/advice?

I am finding it easier to detach tonight. not mad, just on a mission now.