It's true gut check time. I've read some of what's going on, and it's time you start prioritizing and making progress for your own sake. This is not fun, and it's not going to be easy. I've been at this three months now. You HAVE to take control of you self and your situation.
1. If your H is really calling you names like "stupid a$$", then he is being emotionally abusive. I can't fathom this, and I truly hope he is/has not been physically abusive. If he has, then it's time to stop Divorce Busting and start figuring out how to remove you self from that environment. You owe that to you and your kids.
2. There is a wealth of information on here that will help you. Read and re-read, and then read again Sandi 's 37 rules. (Look right after your first post for the link). Until you start doing ALL of those, no amount of advice from anyone on here will help. These things work - but you have to work too.
3. Stop calling, texting, begging, initiating conversations. You know he's with OW. Why text him? Do you think he's going to read your text and suddenly say "oh, sorry, I guess I'm hurting her, I need to go home". He's not going to do that.
4. You need to outwardly be happy. Even when internally you are being torn apart. Stop telling him to make dinner. Stop pointing out all the stuff he doesn't do. Start making lists of the things he DOES do and thank him for those things every once in awhile. It may or may not help, but it's a 180 anyway.
5. I know it's hard with kids, but you need to make plans and be unavailable to him. Make plans with the kids if nothing else. But NOTHING with him. No fish frys, no date nights, no anything.
I can't make these changes for you. You have to do this for you.
I'm going to repeat myself so I'm loud and clear. Do NOT try to save an abusive marriage. You need to talk to someone like a counselor or pastor to help you find somewhere safe for you and your kids.
