And I hit a MAJOR detachment milestone this weekend, too.
H seems to be slowing down on his weekend running around. Has not gone out on a Fri./Sat. in several weekends. Last weekend be went out on Sunday night. He said where he was going but who knows. It was hard for me because of course I pictured OW. But I said bye and was cheerful-no pressure. He looked annoyed at my reaction.
This weekend H hung out with us Fri. and Sat. On Sunday we all went to the beach and ate outside. Almost no conversation between us but I felt no tension internally either. Beautiful night and I found the joy in a peaceful weekend.
On Sunday at 8:15PM he gets dressed in decent clothes to walk the dog. He says goodnight and says he doesn't know when he'll be home. Here we go...
As he is leaving I feel the panic and think of OW. Does she exist? But then, I think, I can leave anytime I want!! I am not a prisoner here. I say bye and good night and like I mean it because I do. No passive aggressive body language. I hear Job's advice: the guy I knew is gone, let him go. I am right where I want to be: providing my kids a stable, loving home.
I turn on music and per kids' request we start a game of Monopoly. And I stop thinking of him. Because I don't want this guy anyway. And I don't think of him or OW. I am happy. And then...
Within 15 minutes he is home and he stays home. And I know he sees that I am not sitting around pining for him.
Felt liberating to change not just the dance steps, but the music, too.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
