Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[V2pt0]

Ok, so I have been thinking about my needs, but my problem is that all of them are going to come off as pressure to my MLCer and I worry that I am going to say the wrong thing. It is also more than needs, especially with the first two as those choices are only further damaging our R. Here goes my outline of convo:

If we are going to continue to live in the same house together, I really need some things to change.

1. Silent treatment: I need you to please stop giving me the silent treatment and acting like I don' t exist. It is extremely hurtful and disrespectful to be treated this way after being with you for 14 years. I have already apologized for my past behavior and do not feel I have done anything to warrant this and it only further hurts our relationship. It is not healthy environment for me.

2. Open Marriage: I have already told you that I cannot live in an open marriage and I know your A is still going on, but you say it is not. If you are going to stay living here, I need you to start being transparent and prove to me that there is no affair. You can do this my giving me access to you email and text messages. I also need you to send an email of no contact to the OW. If you cannot do this, then I cannot have you live in our marital home. I know the man you are and trust that you will do the right thing. This was from DB coach).

3. House and Dog: I know you are very busy with work, as am I. But, I feel like you are expecting me to entirely take care of the house and dog and this is wearing on me. If you are going to staying living here than you should contribute to both so that all of the responsibility does not rely on me.

4. Communication about work travel: We need to coordinate work travel so that we can assure that the dog is taken care of. I have been fully running my works trips and sharing details with you, but you are not doing the same. Therefore, I have to ask and I find it frustrating when we cannot communicate on this simple level.

I really need your help in all of these areas if we are going to continue to live together and have a respectful relationship.

Thoughts? How much do I share with him tonight? Better via text/email or phone conversation? I want to have most of it via face to face.