When they do that, you should call them out on it, saying plainly that YOU will be taking their secrecy and lack of transparency as an indication that they are still in contact, or want to be able to be if they desire, and you will be proceeding with your own decision-making accordingly.
Starsky
Makes total sense. But figuring out what that decision-making part is... very difficult.
T: 14 M: 12 D: 9 S: 6 BD: 2/18/15 (H affair) Working on marriage: 3/12/15-6/11/15 Broken Trust (my error): 6/11/15 H ring off: 7/6/15; Comm w/ OW confirmed 7/13/15 H wants to work on fixing things: 7/21/15
