I forgot to "tell" you all that I had a big success. H's friend, one of his oldest best friends, came out for the day with his kids and we spent the day together (without H)- my family, friends, kids, his friend, and his kids. We had a great time, just hanging out, hiking, went to an outdoor concert and drank sangria and let the kids run wild until past their bedtimes. It was relaxing and fun and I did not say one word to H's friend about H or our problems, just was myself and very happy that day. I was tempted to ask him for help or advice, but then I held back and just went into GAL mode and had fun. I also did that at the In laws house. I sure as heck am not giving anybody a reason to agree with H when he complains about how evil I am - want them all to tell him that I seem happy and normal. Which I am. Struggling with the happy part, but it is still there! I can still appreciate the good things in my life- my kids, friends, good times, etc, even though my heart is broken.
