Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[V2pt0]

Happy Sunday all! I need some advice asap pretty PLEASE. I want to have a discussion with my H about our current living situation. I basically want to give him some options moving forward. I have decided that I can no longer live under the same roof with H under the current conditions. It is no longer healthy for my well being. I sent H a text since he is still on out of town on biz and asked when he is going to be back next weekend as I would like him to think about these options over the next few weeks while we are both traveling and will not see each other. He does not contact me at all unless he needs something or there is something on my end that he thinks impacts him so there is no other way to have a discussion. I kept it simple and said I want to lock down some of his time to discuss our current marital/living status as I need some things to change. I don't quite have it all nutted out, but plan to by Friday via help from here. I don't think I need to provide specifics, but maybe that is wrong. I sent the text early this morning and he just started to respond 10 minutes ago and I received this rapid fire of texts in a minute:

H: I can't commit to time....depending on how things go this week....work may change this weekend and upcoming months.

H: I am certain we can find some time to chat about whatever you need. Why are you being vague?

And why didn't you just answer? I saw you read the text but didn't respond...why?
Why are you being vague?

What does ..."changes to our marital/living arrangement" mean?

Forget it... I see you're being calculated w/TM.

I see you are reading TM but not responding (this all just happened. i just heard the phone beep and was in the middle of painting. Note he has been playing the above game for the last 4 months).

M: Seriously?! I painting and I need To wrap up. I will give you a call in a bit.

But here is the best part of the TM...

H: After 14 years i think you can just say what u are thinking.

M: Think about what you just TM there and reflect on u and the past year. Please select time we can Chat and LMK. You do not get to always be in control. I am over it.

Note, I realized quick enough that the stove is hot and I have now STFU.

How should I leave this convo tonight? Note, I believe this is an in person convo, which is why I requested a meeting.

Here are the options I want to present to my H when we have our discussion ( these are very rough draft):

1) He needs to help out more with the house and dog. I also can no longer deal with the silent treatment and acting like I don't exist. This is emotional abuse and it is wearing on me. I also need transparency from him about A and that it is over. I do not want him living here with active A. I have decided this is a boundry. There is only so much you can detach. I am half tempted to also play he needs to start seeing an IC, but this is controlling. He needs to realize he might lose me and needs to start respecting me again and I think I need to set this tone moving forward.

2) If he won't comply to these things then he needs to move out for a while and see how that works for him.

Again, I want help from you all to figure specifics for convo. Am I being unreasonable? Help!