TLEE86 Part IV

[TLEE86]

No V- I don't think she will start the sweet cycle again. Instead I feel like she's digging in her heels even more where she is at now. This morning she posted a video of OM's son. I couldn't help but notice our bed in the background- with no sheets on it. She used to have sheets on it, and I cant help but think that she's just moved to OM's room and there staying in the same bed every night now too. I just....cant even fathom this. I blocked her from FB...but Idk if I'm strong enough to keep it that way...she just...doesnt seem to care anymore. At all. She's made her choice.

Toots- Maybe she's still conflicted, I don't know, doesnt seem like it. Last night she posted "Can I move back to Alaska now?" after our texts...always strange to me why she keeps wanting to go back to Alaska when thats where our memories are. But as I said to V. I think she's digging in there now. Whats worse is her family doesnt seem to care, its more of...ok she's just going to do whatever she wants to do..Thres no stepping in, no..HEY THIS IS WRONG...its just...hands off..I don't know how to move forward. Its so easy for WW to just walk away...Im left in a house of memories and all of our things. I know all of you are in the same boat. Sure I could redo the whole house...but do I really want to spend that money. I don't know. Im just..i don't know...

Z- thank you for posting. I know your sitch is incredibly painful right now as well. Unfortunately I think i will be in that same boat very soon. As Ive written so many times now...its just unthinkable to me how they can be one way, and then the next second it just shuts off. I just cant do it...and I'm left to pick up the pieces all over again. But how can you be whole when she's got the missing piece.

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Didnt sleep until almost 5am last night. I just couldn't. Im so crushed right now and I don't know how to not be. I just want to crawl into a hole and be alone. I guess I already am. How can they so easily just..move on...did our M mean nothing to her? I was gone for 3 months...and before those 3 months, we were pretty happy. She gave no indication that she was going to leave. I just...cant believe this. The coldness, the meanness, the...i don't give a [censored] or care attitude. Alot of you have been following my sitch for a while..my W was one of few who I remember specifically writing that she didnt act this way. She wasn't mean, she was actually extremely friendly...who face times there H that they left? But its all over now. Idk what to do anymore.