It may not look the same as it does for someone else.
How many friends do you feel would help you get your needs met? How many events or interactions with others do you need to feel successful socially? Start with a defined goal that works for you.
And, the fact you shaved and got dressed shows me you did have motivation. Look at it differently. You took the initiative, but stopped short of arriving at the pool or whatever. How come? What stopped you from stepping out of the door? What could you do differently next time to get a little closer to the pool?
If you find yourself doing the same things over and over and over and getting the same similar results, then something else is going on. It shouldn't be so hard to get to the pool.
So what is the extra thing going on?
This board is designed to help people dealing with the MLC of a loved one. There is stellar advice on handling MLC. It's not, however, designed to help someone with undiagnosed Asperger's, Autism, chronic depression, general anxiety disorder, panic attacks, etc... Posters who mean well and want nothing but the best for you, may give you the wrong impression that you simply need to try harder which will give you the impression that you are failing... when, in reality, there is something going in your inner workings which is causing you to get stopped up.
What if there is something more? You will still need to do the footwork if you really want to see changes.
Honestly, Tad, in my opinion... NOT A DOC... You sound like someone on the autism spectrum with the social difficulties and depression you describe. If this is the case, you will need to adjust your expectations.
What kept you from walking out to the pool? Was it anxiety? Were you feeding yourself negative messages? Were you overwhelmed by the pressure you put on yourself? People generally avoid things because they have had consistent bad experiences in the past. Did you set yourself up to fail before you even started? Did your brain get overloaded in some way?
What if you redefine your idea of success?
Most of us on these boards have more than just an MLC-er causing us issues. For some, those issues are more profound and have caused years of perceived failures and frustrations. By the time we reach mid-life, we have years of shame. In my case, I have some other issues which contributed to the breakdown of my marriage.
At this stage of the game, you know yourself Tad. YOU know yourself better than anyone on these boards.
Sounds like you have figured out the career piece and it took you some time to sort that out. Give yourself props for that. Now, you have to sort out the social and depression piece. Pick one, set reasonable goals and make adjustments which work for you.
Did you know there is a group online called Rat Assistance and Teaching Society? Sounds more up your alley than a casino.
Last edited by LoisB; 07/12/1503:37 PM.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
