Claire, I'm so glad you stopped by! Start you're own thread. You sound like someone with a lot to offer the boards.
Job,
About the meds. 15 years ago, I was put on AD for chronic depression and severe PMS. I went to a specialist at the Cleve. Clinic who told me I'd have to remain on the medication for the duration of my life. I did go off this spring because of overwhelm with finding a doc and no insurance. I was off the meds for 4 months, but I'm not stopping and starting at random. I have enough to get me through until I can get a physical.
I met with an organizational coach last week. He gave me a free consult. He said something which led me to seek out a book on Asperger's.
Despite all I've read for my daughter's sake, I've never understood how Asperger's impacts executive functioning. I never understood executive functioning until now.
For anyone interested, the book was written by Valerie L. Gaus, PhD. She quite brilliantly explained the why and the how my brain gets stopped up. I've been on the right track. I'm going to need to create a team around me to help me over the bumps in managing D12 and daily life.
Self-employment with my writing would be the best fit, but I will need some support to help me manage the bill-paying and structure. This isn't about willing myself to do better or adjusting my routine.
As hard as that is to admit, the reality is I have something deeper going on and I need to surround myself with people who "get" that. The good news... I have challenges which I can manage with some help. Some people are in far worse situations.
I think I have finally found the piece to the puzzle which will allow me to forgive myself for the years of underearning and difficulties with money and the difficulties managing motherhood... I.E. all the things Matt blamed me for.
I see how I get muddled with too much information and stress. I'm a bit scared because when I read the information in black and white... and after having the therapy session a few weeks ago where I laid out the years of struggles on the table... well, it's a bit frightening to see these repeating patterns in my life.
Sadly, many people with Asperger's are underemployed or unemployed. That scares me for myself and my daughter. And, I feel very alone.
HOWEVER. I also saw how I've developed abilities over the years in areas where I used to struggle. And, I know myself. And, I'm smart. Scared, but smart.
I'm determined to figure out how to carve out a successful life with these challenges in order to help my daughter do the same.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
