On Friday H and I are having a conversation with a third person. H tells person that we have been together 20 yrs., where I grew up, etc. He is making eye contact with me as the 3 of us talk (something new). It feels odd to see this now stranger tell my history. He has rewritten so much of our shared history I was surprised he still knew this info. Was I expecting him to also rewrite my personal history?
We still do things as a family each weekend for the kids. Each weekend H basically talks to the kids, asks them what they want to do and all along ignores me like I am invisible.
Mid-day Saturday H asks "do you guys want to go to dinner?" I let kids answer as, he pretty much only talks to them while we are all together. But then, he says "does somebody named HaWho want to come to dinner too?" He categorically includes me.
He continues to includes me in the daily plans.
In the evening we are all at home. It is Saturday. He has stayed home the last 3 Saturdays, no crazy disappearing acts. What is in store tonight I wonder?
S11 comes up and tells me dad wants to know if we want to do something tonight. First time we do something as a family on a Saturday night in a LOOONNNNG time.
We go out. No conversation between us really. But on ride home he initiates conversation with me that is above the kids' head. Another first.
When we come home, another first. He stays in the living room with us all. I am in the other room for a moment and I hear him apologize to one or both of the kids for something. He is quiet about it. I have only heard him say "I am sorry" once in our whole relationship. These are tough word for him.
Last oddity is S11 says in a very goofy voice: "do you love me daddy?" H comes from a tough neighborhood and a traumatic childhood home. Such words were not spoken. He never engages in this kind of stuff. With tenderness he says "of course I do, what kind of question is that?" NEVER heard this H before. New personality all together emerges for a moment. I like this one. Don't worry, I know not to get attached.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
