I can see the isolation and lack of support IRL and to me it's extremely unnerving. Sadly these destructive sitches are isolating and some WS use this effectively as a tool for managing the sweet cycle. I also understand how hard it is to break free from this, everything within you wants WW back in your life whatever the cost. You are likely trauma bonded in a big way to WW, more difficult for you because you are in the army.
I can see how horrid it is that WW is using you for Fin resources and even harder that you know this. That you can see it, this is being a target. This a point of unknowing, you can not now unknow this, at future times you will need access to this low point to keep you strong. I would love you to post your list of the fin abuse you see for future reference or at least have it for access to.
I am concerned that your messages may cause WW to start the sweet cycle again. Be nice, kind etc to get you emotionally involved.
Please know this, I can say with absolute certainty that you did not cause this, you can't control it and can't cure it.
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I sincerely hope that you won't listen to messages to grow b@lls, act like xyz tough guy to attract your WW back. Stand up to her etc. I truly want you to have peace and be strong enough to go NC, to create distance for yourself. To heal, and to rest awhile.
Know that in this position your WW has the knowledge that you want to be with her. Nothing in the messages she sent to you or you to her is unknown to WW. I think it's a good thing that you sent the messages as now WW reactions to you are clear, you have these in writing, keep a printed copy for future use.
TLee my concern is for you, the gentle, kind, generous and loving man that I read in these posts. A man with great sadness and pain, I know how that is, I have walked that path. To know the one you are with is mainly concerned with extracting resources and if they need to will do so again.
I would like to give you the biggest hug, and let you cry it away for a while whilst protecting yourself. TLee now is the time to get L full on. Is there someone that you trust that you can talk about the practicalities. Please get good legal advice and keep posting. I will check in on you every couple of hours.
At this point consider extreme self care. Know that I say this from deep in my heart, this is not because you did not love WW enough over the last few months, nor that you kept it to yourself. I truly believe that WW is the issue here and in no way at all did you fall short in your R with WW. Everything I read is just normal day to day stuff. If WW had been so unhappy then she could have been a WAW and been sad but sorry. Gentle and generous, this isn't WW, she is a wayward from the playbook. WW is wayward and living with an OM because she wants to but she also wants TLee resources too, this is unreasonable at best and manipulative at worst.. TLee protect yourself in every way you can, every way possible.
((((((((Hugs))))))))))
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 07/12/1507:59 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
