From what you've said about the MC, I don't know if you would have a lot of support in telling her how important remorse and a sincere apology is to you. (And, a sincere apology is one that doesn't show an attitude.)

I went for a looooooong time before I gave a sincere apology, b/c I did not feel remorse. All I felt was anger toward my H. The two does not reside together well.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!