Huge Backslide After Affair Recovery

[hopeOK]

Pretty much same old same old. He is being kind & interacting with me around the kids. It sure seems like he was showing more interest when I was being cold & short with him, delaying responses a long time on text & having the kids answer my phone. (I was mad from his ugly text.) but I worked through that & decided to not be cold & he is back to being distant. It's not healthy to keep the cold attitude going but man it is tempting since it got his attention.

Yesterday I had individual counseling where she did thought field therapy... It is suppose to remove the emotional component to whatever is consuming you. So I have 2 things mostly... Fear/sadness about a possible divorce & also fear he is back with or will get back with OW. We did the therapy (which is related to acupuncture but uses taping instead of needles) on sadness related to a potential divorce. I started out thinking about it & tears filling my eyes. Then after doing the series about 5 times I couldn't make myself cry over it... None of my trigger thoughts did anything. It is a curious thing. Still the same today. Of course I am concerned about it & don't want it to happen... But I am not overwhelmed with the sadness I was when thinking about it before.