Evening went well. There has still been no talk about any specifics about why she left or what the future holds. Halfway through dinner, I realized that I might be pursuing. A light switch just went off in my head and I pulled way back. I'll be honest I was angry. Things she was doing and saying just were irritating me to the core. She was on her phone most of the evening. She was talking about getting back on birth control. I would ask a straight question and she would respond, "I don't know." I pulled out the phone and started texting in front of her. Avoided eye contact. Gave vague, short answers. Asked for the check and we left. Not to mention dinner cost me $85.
When we got in the car, I turned the music up and sped home. I even turned to her and said, "Do you even want to get together once a week? It is up to you." She got all upset and demanded that we continue to meet once a week. Ugh, then we got stuck in traffic for an hour. So awkward. I stopped for her at Walgreens to pick up her new prescription for Lexapro. I am happy she is getting on that because she very much needed it for anxiety.
It was past 11 pm once we got to our house. She picked up the male dog. She wanted to take one of our girls instead but I would not let her. Every time we depart one of these dates, she stands there awkwardly making small talk before she leaves. She tries to stand there and get the courage to make physical contact. This time, she pulled me in for a hug and a kiss on the lips. On the way out, she was telling me when she wanted to get together next week. She accidently let out, "Okay. I love you." Then she quickly scrambled after realizing what she had said. She tried to correct herself and said she directed it at the dogs. I laughed at her and she told me "but I do love you". I didn't say anything. She left after that.
She texted me after she got home saying that she had gotten there safe. She reported what a "good and fun time" she had. Said sweet dreams and that was it.
I'm not sure how I feel after that meeting. I know one thing though, I am going to detach and go dark where the sun can't even find me for awhile.
Me: 33 W: 30 T - 12 M - 3 K - 0 BD - 6/14/15 Moved out - 6/14/15
