The actual act of drinking repulses me and so I am not worried about that right now, I wanted to quit for so long. Dealing with the demons I hid by drinking, all the hurt I caused myself and my beautiful wife all these years is another story. I like the changes I am making about myself, it is hard and will take time. Not being able to be doing this with my w is tearing me apart. My w and I never communicated well, and something will have to be said soon. We have to much contact because of my d, although I have avoided my w this week. She thinks I am hiding, but I am dying to open up to her. I want her somehow to know that I finally realize the hurt she felt. Talking to IC is not the same as if I had my w to talk to still. I am still here, but I cant live like this, I hope things improve. I have to let my w go, but I dont know the best way to do it.
Me:47 W:47 D:12 T:27yrs. M:17yrs. S:10/14 Wife wants legal sep., which can be divorce after 1 yr. om b 7/15 but probably a lot longer
