Reality is my middle name

[123Gwen]

Thanks Lou. I know time is required to heal the bone. There is nothing I can do to speed it up. It is crystal clear. At BD everything was so fuzzy. I guess there is comfort in the simplicity of this event.

I surrender. I detach. I give up and yes I do give in. My only fear is that I will not know when to get up this time. I pray I will and I hope I will.

Many of our friends here have dealt with much worse and continue to deal with much more difficult things. I am humbled by them and I feel like I should not be complaining but for now I just have to accept things. I am weary of this journey and perhaps resting awhile is not a bad thing.

Honestly I put on a great front for everyone else but her on this board I am brutally honest because I need to try to work through things. It has just been a tough year.

Thanks everyone for posting on my thread but also sharing your own journey. You each have brought out some laughter or wisdom or compassion at a time when the world seems sorely lacking in those areas.

I apologize for the ramble.... Pain meds and.isolation will do that to a person. Honestly after BD this should be easy. I think it is just dealing with so much change and hurt squashed together.. Patience and time will be the best medicine.