Last night went very well. When we got to the rodeo we all sat together. D8 and I realized my sister was there so I took her over to ride horses with my sister. When we got back there was no room to sit by him so we sat about 7 feet from him. Every time I looked over he was texting OW i assume as that is who he was texting the entire way there. how is this part of a night that went VERY WELL? Are you OK that he has an OW or not? Every time I looked over he would smile or wink at me. At intermission there was room so I went and sat by him. After the rodeo was over i assumed he would want to leave right away. Instead he suggested we go talk to my sister and let d8 see horse again. He then suggested we walk through all the animal barns. I was suprised. I did text him to ask if he was going to another race with us next week and he said yes again to my surprise. I figured he would say no and go with OW. Again, how are you OK with this? on the way home he started a conversation about work and a co-worker also a mutual friend of ours. I kept it upbeat and light answering when i needed to and ect. I did not validate as there was really nothing to validate. Today I got another huge stressor handed to me my health insurance is going from 80$ a month to 300$ a month. I was very stressed when i got home so i laid on couch and fell asleep. when he came home he woke me up and asked why i was not in our bed sleeping. i decided he was right so i went back and laid down. he came back about 10 minutes later and said if i make sure he gets up in 30 minutes he would lay down with me. he asked me to scoot to his side of them bed and he laid on mine. he asked for a back rub and of course i did it. I know not what I should of done but it felt so nice for him to come lay with me. what is your goal here? Physical closeness or a lasting relationship? When we got up he informed me he was staying at a friends house so he could get up in the morning and go work at another friends house. I knew he was lying he was staying with a friend and so was the OW. I confronted him and told him he did not need to lie to me. I then lost my cool and told him I am tired of there being no responsibility in that relationship. I am tired of being here taking care of everything so he can go run around on the weekends. what has been his penalty for doing this? What have you done to actually make him think it's not ok? He's been SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER WOMAN FOR A YEAR and if he asks you for a back rub when you're already stressed out, you jump to give it to him! he informed me yet again he does not want to be with me and they are now "officially" together. I asked if he was ready to tell kids. he asked if i was ready to move out. I asked if she was ok with not being allowed around the kids or the house. he said for now she is. I just started bawling I cant take any more I am losing him, the only family I have, I now have insurance I can not afford and IF I wanted to leave I can not even do that because I can not live off of 700$ a month with a 500$ rent payment. I told him I just cant take anymore. I want to fight for this relationship but I do not understand his actions vs his words.what do you mean? He's getting to do whatever he wants. He has you there to console him, give him emotional support, help him with his hobbies, activities etc, take care of the kids, the house and he has an OW for all of the fun sex and relationship stuff Or the dynamics of his relationship with Ow. I can not figure out how he can say he isnt hidding her from anyone yet doesnt want to tell kids doesnt bring her to family stuff. How he can lay in bed with me and let me put my arm around him and hug me and let me live here if he doesnt want to be with me and is with her. What is going on with HIM. Please help me understand what is going on here. IS this relationship salvagable? yes! But not until you change the dynamics of it! You have to change YOU. What reason does he have to stop the affair? I messed up now what do I do? My most important thing is needing advice on his behavior? Is this typical.they have been seeing eachother for a year now? Will OW continue to put up with this?
