seperated 4 months, its now 9 months, oh and om

[PigPen]

Hang tough Help. You've accomplished something already that SO many people in our situation struggle with - simply staying sober. That's huge. Extremely huge. On the days when you really think you're hanging on by a thread - remember that.

That one decision will do more to heal your life than anything that happens with your W. Make the decision that it's for life too. No matter what. Come hell or high water.

You're doing a great job, and asking all of the right questions here. You also have the amazing example set by your in laws of how not to do this. I had the same. Both divorced for over 25 years, both still single, both still fighting with each other at each family gathering. Amazing. Swallow the poison in hopes that it hurts your mate.

One of the hardest aspects to grasp of DB'ing is that standing for your M and the new R often times is accomplished by really letting it go. (mind explodes!) But it's true.

Keep up the good work, V is right, you're doing well and should give yourself credit.

PP