You can stand for your M and yourself at the same time, you can stay strong on that. And it's a good thing to want to rebuild your R with your W, to build a new M and work with DB to do that.
It is a good thing to want to rebuild R with my W, sometimes that simple sentiment gets lost during this craziness that is my life now. My w parents divorced when she was 12 and spiraled out of control for the next 35 yrs and they never healed themselves. They were bitter, addicted, resentful people and her father still is. That wont be me, it never was the real me.
Thank you for your kind words V, it helps more than you can ever know as I feel like I am hanging on a thread.
PEACE to you
Me:47 W:47 D:12 T:27yrs. M:17yrs. S:10/14 Wife wants legal sep., which can be divorce after 1 yr. om b 7/15 but probably a lot longer