Job-I have read and re-read that info. about why they run. Each time I read it I another "a ha" moment. Thx.
At XMAS, in front of the whole family my H shamed his mother about his childhood. He made fun of her for the various dysfunctional decisions she made in his childhood.
Afterward I recommended that he talk to her again one on one. He said no. I wonder if the child in him is too scared? Maybe he wanted to shame her to turn the tables on her?
Sadly, to me she has intimated that he was "born an angry kid." She has never owned up to her part. Maybe she buried it and she convinced herself of this lie. But she broke her own child.
This is painful to admit but right now, I am so disappointed in my H, his behavior, the havoc this is wreaking on my kids. I know he needs me to step up and be his friend and show unconditional love. I know he is missing that. And I know my face shows my disappointment in him. I am disappointed in myself for not being able to have more compassion for him and his sitch.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
