Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[V2pt0]

I realized this afternoon that it is not so much about any inconvenience. I love my dog and house. The problem is that I continue to have expectations of him as a spouse. I know that I shouldn't and can't, but I do, which only results in hurt. Thing is, I don't even want to be married to this version of H, but keep thinking back to the nice one. Some days I just can't handle that he acts and functions like we are already D and today is one of those days. Just having a day of grieving the loss of my M and my H. Still trying to hold on to something, but know I need to let it go.

Also travel and time apart continues to mount and I know this is actually the gift of time to work on me, but also think of it as more time for disconnection to grow. I suppose the good part is that with so many work trips, that unless the OW is going, it is time away from the A. Maybe that actually prolongs it? Who knows. Just fear sometimes that with so much time apart he will get used being away from me and Not look back. I know a bunch of cheeseless tunnels and mind reading.

Time to enjoy my weekend and GAL my way out of my funk.