I have a real sore feeling over this - over and over and over, she proves herself to me -- so why is this so difficult for me to just pull the trigger and be done. I can hardly be in a room with her without feeling red-eyed anger. I just keep replaying the weekend over in my mind which reminds me of past incidences. (going to IC actually doesn't help with this as we talk about these things and I remember more and more).
time to mentally prep for another weekend
Interesting choice of words there U ...lol
I lean to feel her rage ... increasing in nature is do to lack of control as I think we have talked about. You are getting stronger, and this is NOT how she pictured everything would pan out. Toss on the spew jacket ... I am telling you from first hand experience ... that fear of the unknown is nothing compared to the terror you are living with my friend.
She will have to loose you before she hits rock bottom, before she will even attempt to look in the mirror and admit she needs to change ... if she ever does. My W was as proud and stubborn as they come, God dealt her a few blows and its amazing what a shot of humility does to them, a woman I have known more than half my wife, real similar to yours is now actually kind and remorseful. Never in 100 years would I have dreamed it.
