Working on it, but affair hasn't ended yet...

[t33]

I'm by no means an expert, but I have a couple questions...Is the A over? I know you might not know, but does it at least seem like it's deep underground or that it might not be happening anymore?

It feels like the A is over - though she hasn't fully moved on - but is perhaps trying to reconcile that fact. My understanding is they don't really see/interact at work at all. Still they text (or had as of Wednesday).

It seems that your W is reaching out to you, almost begging for some kind of communication/affirmation from you. The texts, the conversations...none of it seems mean to me. None of it seems like anger focused at you. It seems like depression and a true reaching out to you for some kind of affirmation.

No, it's never mean - other than the one blow up 2 weeks ago when everything came to a head. Everything has been (while withdrawn) fairly amicable. I get the reaching out feeling too and I don't want to overdo it, have expectations, or jump too quickly. But I don't want to let an opportunity pass by either...

I'm not saying that you need to abandon DB principles. Obviously those work. I'm not saying that you need to go full in and start talking about saving your M or reconciling...but maybe a little testing of the waters of your own is in order here.

Perhaps - I also don't want to sabatoge the DB work I've done, but still.

A vet can chime in better than I can, but if she's truly making an attempt to get you to open up, I think it's warranted and what is right. Now if the A is still happening and she's just playing both sides, or wants sympathy from you and OM both, then no way, but I'm a little torn with your current approach of just walking away and avoiding having potentially some game-changing conversation with her.

I'm so conflicted. I just don't know.

Be genuine. Be the lighthouse.

Exactly.

As for the ID badge. It turns out it was a joke badge - I just didn't get it at the time.