She not only doesn't care what's going on with me she won't even see/hear about my changes .
Don't worry about what she will/won't see. You aren't making these changes for her, you're making them for you.
D papers are just paper. They don't define you. There is a long time between the creation of those papers and the absolute end to your M. Obviously, it is leaning in that direction.
Ask yourself, do you truly want to save your M the way she is acting? Are you in love with the current form of your W, or are you holding on to the memories of what/who she USED to be and wanting that back? I can't imagine you want to be with the current W. Remember, it's two "different" people we are talking about.
If I told you right now, I had some magic pixie dust that would make your W walk through the door right now and tell you she's moving back in and staying married to you, but it wouldn't change her attitude, it wouldn't change the way she treats you, and wouldn't change her in any way shape or form - but she would be with you, would you take it? Think about that.
