Ghost,
No one ever believes there could be an OM. I asked my STBX this question a few days before I discovered the A. Of course, she denied it and I believed her.

I'm no expert but your W could be having a MLC. There is a different DB strategy if this is the case.

Can you update your signature to include some of the vitals from your sitch?

Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15