Tkdmme.. I know what u're going through my sitch its very similar except that my W is only 25 and showing signs of MLC, have you read any o the books? I'm not expert and I'm only 2 months into this ride, but what I can tell u is that she is doing GAL and u should too, I know its hard I haven't been able to do it 100% myself but U need to go out and do stuff, go exercise, I was looking at some volunteer opportunities in my city, doesn't mean that u have to go drinking too also in my opinion again (im new at this) u don't have to let her know what u're doing since from what I read its not a trust issue. again if I'm wrong someone will correct me.!! I feel ur pain and how hard it is. but u're in the right place to seek for advice and support. stay strong cuz its looks like its a long journey.!
