Hello from south of la la land

[dejavu2]

Bea - Amen. That philosophy is what has kept my head straight thru all the craziness.

I do think there may be a family pattern, but I am no expert. Is it a family pattern due to genetics or a lack of emotional awareness which is passed on generation to generation.

In my situation: MIL had a very distant relationship with her father. She is very logical and unemotional. I can see how she did not give H any emotional coping mechanisms - as emotional expression was not encouraged. You can't give to someone else what you can't give to yourself. When MIL was about 48yo (same age H is now), she tried to commit suicide. She went on to some counseling and has sought to find more happiness, but she is NOT warm/loving.#

My kids also thought H was depressed for quite a long time. He is showing more effort with them now, so they think he is coming out of it. In some ways he is, in some ways he isn't.