It's Been Two Months Today

[DifRent]

Thanks, PP. It is hard, but there are stretches when she's not here and almost full time at the OW's house, and those are hard in a different way.

She's given indications to me that this thing with the OW isn't all that serious. But she gives the exact opposite impression to the OW. (Having read some texts, I know this.) Hard to know where the truth really lies, and it's just clear to me that here and now, in the midst of the A, I cannot compete. They consider each other life partners already, or at least that's what the texts indicate. This is the sort of thing that gets me down when she's not here. When she is, it's the mixed messages that she doesn't even know she's delivering. It's the talks that often morph into arguments. It's her being here but her mind and heart being somewhere else. That's why last night, just watching a movie together, was the most pleasant time we've had together in a long time. Short-lived and didn't mean anything to her, I'm sure. Other than it may have planted a little seed that will remind her of our once calm and peaceful life together.

Patience... I know. It's a long, long road.