Thank you Beatrice for the added info. I had not yet heard the term "drop ins."

The MLC script similarities are fascinating given the range of strangeness to their childhoods.

Months after BD #2 as H seemed to "see" the kids a bit more and wanted to be present more, he tried to finagle it so that I wouldn't come on family activities. He shows repulsion towards me so they can live with you and still give you the plague treatment.

Now he includes me in these activities but always prefaces it "what do you kids want to do today?" He never asks my opinion on what we should all do. He treats me like a tag-along.

I think about the strangeness of my sitch now and wonder if living through this/witnessing H's behavior will repeat the cycle in my kids' lives.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced