I'm fighting a very painful urge to contact him and tell him if he's really confused and angry, and doesn't want this...I don't either.
Pls let me rational.
IF he said ok and we went to counseling, that is still not him coming to terms with abuse or wanting to change. It is a repeat of our old cycle.
IF...my family and friends could not support after what they know. And o would. R living in panic and worry, not relaxed peace. Is he still on Tinder? Is it ok to bro g xyz up right now? Does he love me? No - trust is gone and it would be hell living with this.
IF - I would still feel confusion and hurt and if I asked him to clarify any of what hsppened, a man I don't trust still can twist and twist and twist.
IF - I still would deal with a life with no children. His possible drug issues, immaturity.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
