Falling Pianos: Wayward Wife & LRT (8)

[Georgia Bulldogs]

Perfect.

I read on another thread Cadet bumped where MWD posted the following:

You ask whether doing a 180 will lead to out of sight, out of mind. It totally depends on your particular situation. That's the point about all of the methods I write about. You try something, and you watch the results. If it isn't working, you switch gears. But doing the same old thing when it isn't working is the best way to create problems in your marriage.
So, try your 180 for a few weeks and see what happens.
Michele

I think the point of trying something new is a good one. "Pursue" her for a bit here, in a confident, fun, "as if" manner and see what happens. Focus on the "fun". She just hinted at being jealous of all the fun you are having....so invite her along when you can (coffee first, no doubt...don't over do it). She needs to experience this new more fun you AND see that all your friends are going to pretty much be fine with you two being back together. Pick out the most understanding of friends. Maybe you know a couple that has even experienced infidelity, told you about it after finding out about your situation and survived. They could be very helpful since they reconciled themselves. Our friends were super supportive and we've become the go-to couple for helping all our friends as everybody struggles with this marriage thing.

Let your wife "pursue" serious couple conversation. You listen intently. Ask questions and listen some more. Do your leading by actions versus trying to lead a recovery by talking about it or wearing your heart on your sleeve.

It's be kind of funny for the stoic non-emotional guy to be the one saying "I'm not really quite ready or sure about becoming emotionally vulnerable to you right now. Let's just have fun". Perhaps you hint that there's a lot more about you you've recently discovered and learned about yourself that you'll share in time; but, right now you are content with just having fun and getting to know the real her.


BTW, my wife was really different for a year or so but slowly morphed into something better than she ever was before or during that time in our lives. Life has planted you both here. Bloom. You don't have much to lose in the effort, but SHE unknowingly does.