Falling Pianos: Wayward Wife & LRT (8)

[Defacto]

Thanks Asitis and Bob, I truly thrive on your advice and encouragement.

Journaling:

STBX called while I was on my way home from work. She said she was so sad. I asked her why. She said that she sees my pictures on Instagram and all the comments from my friends. She misses having all of her old friends in her life. She said that she wished that we could have figured this out just the two of us. I did a lot of "ok's and I understands." I didn't apologize but I told her that I understand how she feels because I went through something similar when we first met. It's obvious that she still blames me for the exposure but I just let her talk about why she was sad.

However, I felt it was time to take the lead. I told her that I don't know what happens between us in the future but if we were ever got to the point where we work on our MR, I wouldn't let any friend hold it over her head if I was able to forgive her. I told her I have some reservations and concerns myself. I'm not convinced we could ever get back together either.

I then utilized GB's example and I asked her to imagine a perfect relationship, like the one we envisioned for each other. She said that she was having a hard time imagining it. She admitted that we did have great times together with the kids but she's not sure that is enough to make us happy. I alluded to how well we worked together at the school on Tuesday and she agreed. I told her that I always felt like we did well to problem solve during our MR and again she agreed. I then asked her why two intelligent people like ourselves couldn't figure out these problems.

I told her that our MR could never be the same and I see that now. She asked me what I meant. I told her about some of the things I wish I knew about myself and marriage in general before BD. She sincerely thanked me for sharing this and said it was good to hear.

I then thought it would be wise to change the subject a bit to lighten the seriousness. I told her about my experience with the new puppy spending the night yesterday with the kids. We joked that the puppy helped me to work on having more patience and we both shared how we like watching D4 with puppy.

I then told STBX that I needed to get ready for the kids and we said our goodbyes. I almost felt like she was lingering a bit when I hung up.

So, I feel that it went ok. I obviously tried to employ a nuanced approach. Some might say that I might have pleaded but I think it felt more like me leading. Multiple times I shared my reservations and doubts about us ever working out. I never asked her to do anything. I feel like I just offered some alternative viewpoints.

Anyway, no expectations. I really do have doubts about us still being compatible but for the sake of the kids, I'd still like a shot at it. However, I do feel like I am making my own way much better as of late.

I'm really looking forward to heading out of town on Saturday. It will be great to spend time with friends and getting away from it all for a few days.