How far would tough love go? Who said "tough love" was the approach that is needed here? This is a Divorce Busting site and it's NOT about tough love. What lesson do you think you should be teaching her?
Again I'd remind you that NOT all advice for newbies is applicable to all. The "37 Rules" which are guidelines anyhow, even state this.
If a wife left her h b/c he did not pay enough attention to her or was violent towards her, do you think that h should "Detach"??
I don't. I think he'd need to do a boatload of work to earn back her trust and fix HIS issues. Your wife in all likelihood WANTS to trust you but cannot yet.
IMO, when a woman with children walks away from her marriage,
there is no way she will return to that marriage - UNLESS
she believes the marriage can be better/different than before. So, how are YOU showing her that it can be better/different?
I am still paying for car insurance, phone, truck payment for her because of my kids. Soon going to have to pay child support, alimony and her lawyers fees as well.
So then, You'll have to pay MORE soon, not less. So how do you think cutting her off of the few expenses now, which she needs to transport the kids anyhow, will help you? Seems to me it would look as if you are punishing her for leaving you, to "teach her a lesson/show her the consequences of her choices"
Here is what my DB coach said to me, "it's NOT a spouses job to 'teach a lesson/show consequences', b/c LIFE does that, not our partner and co-parent."
Besides, she is acutely aware of the costs of all this, as she said.
So my question is, What is your goal?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
