There is a lot of self introspection that still needs to occur.
I think you are on the right track, for the issue that you seem to be working on.
Don't sweep the EA's under the rug, though, figure out what is going on with that issue so that you can keep moving forward in a positive direction. You wouldn't be the first person to wash up here who had an EA which caused their spouse to run.
You also have children with someone else and is their anything that is unresolved from that relationship?
Sorry for the hard questions. I hope you stick with us as I see your sitch as very fixable, with lots of hard work.
