So first up foot update . I broke my foot on christmas eve, entirely self inflicted, and was out for a couple of months. Then just before Easter i fell awkwardly playing squash and after a bit of investigation by the physio and some trial an error she came to the conclusion that i had prolapsed a disc and that was causing nerve issues. That has been healing well but the running seems to have aggravated things a little so I need to take it a bit easier. I also think I need to buy a bike and try lower impact for a while.
Next general update
After my flat weekend the week has stayed relatively flat as well, I really don't have enough lined up for the times I don't have the kids. Having said that time with the kids is good and I'm taking them to a little local music festival at the weekend.
On the whole i'm feeling like I'm lacking purpose and motivation to do anything other than keep trudging along and with that its difficult to feel much joy. I've talked about this with my IC and we are trying to figure out why this is and what i can do about it although she has suggested I try dating.
Its difficult to know what to say really, with work and the kids i don't get a huge amount of time but what i do get i struggle to fill. It seems like everything that happens locally happens on days I have the kids.
Just as an aside, a few posts ago i said i ran into my XF from many years ago and apologised for all the upset and hurt I caused when I left. Well it seems she then sent a message to both my brother and my dad to say she was really grateful for that and its given her some closure.
lastly responding to mozza and thanks again for your thoughts on this.
I'm not sure how it comes across here so i'll try and clarify. I'm friendly but its at the cordial end, I will say general things like 'have a nice weekend' but i don't ask how she is (except when she was hospitalized) or what shes been doing (since the answer is OM1, I dont need to hear that). I'm chatty and polite but always about the kids although i will extend what i think is normal courtesy to her, so for example saying she doesn't need to wait on the doorstep. I didn't invite her in for a coffee or anything like that though.
I did send her a basic Happy Birthday message yesterday and had sorted out cards and presents from the kids, nothing elaborate though.
I could rein back a little on the chattiness and if i mirrored her then there would be no superfluous words like 'hi' but I don't want to behave like that, its not me and I don't think its a good example for the kids.
I've apologised in words, I've made this whole thing as easy as possible on her and i have quietly gone away as far as two people who share kids can do. Except for saying something to fully absolve her i'm not sure what else there is i can do.
It feels like my XW feels she is absolutely the victim and she has done nothing wrong at any stage. The only things she has admitted to as her mistakes/part in the failure of our M are 'getting married when she wasn't sure' 'settling for what she knew wasn't good enough' and 'not leaving sooner'
I have to say I cant recall my XW ever forgiving anyone for anything (other than XSIL for pretty much anything).
as for adjusting accordingly, well i'm not really sure what that looks like.
oh well, it is what it is and I just need to find a way to fully move on.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
