I don't know what I am doing anymore. I prayed last night for the pain to end, even if it meant not waking up. I had two dreams, and I gather from them that I dont want to give up, on myself or my m. I had a good conversation with my d last night about us communicating and she said I was the best. What is next for me now, staying friends with ww or nc, I dont know. I have done things for the wrong reasons this whole time, my w probably feels some of that. I dont want to live in fear anymore. I want to live, I know that, but this is my darkest hour. There was something real about being friends with my w these last few months, it wasnt all about doing it to win her back. I dont know if it was real for her, and now that I know about the om, I am more confused and the pain is unbearable.
Me:47 W:47 D:12 T:27yrs. M:17yrs. S:10/14 Wife wants legal sep., which can be divorce after 1 yr. om b 7/15 but probably a lot longer
