Brothers in Arms (Sisters too...)

[Underdog]

LOL, scotch, amaretto, sunshine and positive voices indeed! Yes, home is where the heart is. However, I gotta say now that I'm back my heart is right back with me in Denver. I love it here. Even though we're all experiencing an absence of consistent sunlight this summer. WTF? This morning, the sun is shining, but the forecasts tell me to enjoy it while it's here - because after lunch, that's gonna change. Sweet.

I will say that by now, the landscape here is typically brown - awaiting the August monsoon. It's so green here, and I am definitely not disappointed to see that. But my lawn looks like crap (I call my backyard weedville) and at some point, I gotta mow. It's just not gonna be today.

Claire, if it helps you, I hear some wise voices in the back of my head. Still. One of the few people I saw on my trip home was my former posting pal, MicheleTW. She's a life coach, and I really needed a few hours with her. I swear we're sisters from another mother. Wonka will probably remember her, as well as the other wise voices of Heart2Heart, Azure and Wonder, CMNM, and more. I keep in touch with them in the real world, and it's good to know that our camaraderie helped pave the way to a happy life post-D. They're all uber successful women who held me responsible for getting myself out of the funk.

That's the real benefit of this forum. Sometimes we need to hear stuff that isn't pleasant. I used to bristle at that, but I found pretty quickly that the bristling was my discomfort with the truth and I had better sit on that for a few days. I found gold in them thar hills. I've now connected the dots to people who irritate me. I ask myself what bothers me about them... and dig deep. Most often, it's because they possess traits in myself that I despise. Sometimes they're just a*holes.

I find it interesting you mention the co-parenting thing. For some bizarre reason, I woke up this morning thinking about the timing - that Mr. Wonderful and I have now lived apart for as long as we lived together as married folk. That seems weird. And knowing that, it seems really weird that we've spent half our knowing each other being co-parents. Actually, more time co-parenting than being spouses working for the cause. Not sure why that thought creeped in. Perhaps because my D21 texted me last night to tell me that she's kind of worried about her dad. I had told her he wasn't in a good place, and he let his hair down a little with her, so to speak. I'm not responsible for his emotions, so I leave him be. If he needs to talk, he knows where to find me. Besides, he left for a golf weekend in Estes Park this morning and perhaps that's what he needs right now.

My cousins and I agree that the 50s are hard. You have to parent your own kids and parents too. My BFF called me last night and left a message crying... she had just put her mom in a nursing home and the prognosis is not good. And she's not even 80. It's just tough.

So let me acknowledge all of you for your support and good advice. I appreciate it!

Betsey