Detaching means you are not hitching your wagon on the spouse's actions, behaviors, or words thus being influenced by them. It is like being thrown about like a ragged doll. Detachment means you are not impacted by another individual's actions, behaviors or words. You still care about the person and interact with them without being thrown off kilter.
Whereas withdrawing is a self-protection mechanism where there is no contact and shutting yourself off from the event, situation, or interaction. Withdrawing from a person is total disengagement which means that YOU are affected by the attendant event/situation.
