When we DB we do this for ourselves not to 'charm' our partners. In essence DB is about doing what works for us.

We let go of the consequences of what we do, because what we do is for our own comfort and development. Otherwise the effect is temporary and in the medium term can never be maintained so it reverses and we end up in a worse position than when we started.

So whatever you do, warmth, openess or NC this is for you, if you examine Joe and Pigpen sitch both have grown so much that the opportunities for a new style M is much improved.

Engaging in any tactic because it may work in the short term but longer term this won't improve you. In my view this is for you to improve you. The improvements on yourself are designed to help you.

The two strategies are designed for the same result, improvement in you. If you follow coach strategy first and it is not effective then that does not preclude you from NC Ada 180. But I would not think you can do them effectively NC then contact ie coach strategy last. If you do you do this for you with no expectations. Again I believe both have the same core working on yourself.

T your sitch is rather different and the suggestion is the same do what you do for you.

Peace and work on you. Help, I will keep in touch with you.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 07/09/15 09:41 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW