What is with H getting all mad because S and I are gong away for vacation over the 4th and leaving him as he says "with nothing"? He said we should go last year. He doesn't make plans with us. Did he mean maybe that he wouldn't see S over the 4th?
I am confused by this and H said today "I noticed you are already packing for your trip in 20 years you never did that you always waited until the last minute and now you start the year I don't go." I said I it was my staging area and I am not quite packed yet.
So he has noticed a change in you, that he feels is for the better? So why not validate that you can change and in fact, are changing?
Depending on how valid the claim is, and whether you care about it or not,
you could say a number of things, including:
"Yes well, it's probably about time I do"...
"Just goes to show you can learn something new after the age of X"
"H, if you want me to say that you were right, I will. B/c it turns out that packing ahead does lessen stress."
Make sure you wink or laugh or treat it lightly, so you don't seem heavy handed with it, and it may make it easier to say anyhow. Plus you do not want his comment to escalate into a fight.
If he notices other changes you can always use my favorite mantra "if I had it to do over again, there are lots of things I'd do differently."
That^^ shows change is possible. It also diffuses and keeps things from morphing into an argument or attack. And it doesn't make you a doormat.
As for the rest of the mind reading, we can't help you there. I'd remind you not to try so hard to understand the commentary, which changes anyhow. IF & when he files for divorce
OR says he wants to reconcile,
you'll know.
Til then, please keep the focus back on YOU and your GAL. It sure makes this ordeal a lot more bearable. Trust me on that.
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 07/09/1506:41 AM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
