TLEE86 Part IV

[TLEE86]

I get it. Its taken me along time to realize it but I get why supporting her is bad (yea kinda dumb to just get it). But Ive been married once before, as Ive mentioned before- first wife and i knew it just wasn't going to work. But I pictured myself, when we split and I moved in with my current W, if my ex had continued to financially support me, to treat me nice and give me whatever I wanted. It'd be a little confusing, why was she doing this when I left, maybe she's a good person, but then after a while Id be wondering..she has no boundaries. She's so in love with me that she has no spine, no backbone. She's willing to do antrhing for me and not standup for herself.

I can show my wife i love her very much. She already knows this but I can still show her. But i have to do it without condoning her actions. I have tried so long, for almost 10 months now, to be a nice person, to be the good guy ,and maybe i needed to do that for a while, given the circumstances of why she left me...but now...10months later, I see that she is running all over me. you cant love a person you don't respect. And I would not respect my first wife if she did this for me. She would be seen as just a doormat. And thats why my current wife has the ability or balls to say the things she's saying, blaming me for everything when in reality...she made her bed, so now she needs to sleep in it.

This will still be very hard for me to cut her off, and i know you've all been telling me this since day 1...but finally I'm going to do it. Just trying to prepare myself for the whirlwind of repercussions and nasty things she might say, or even try and do to me.

Oh, and also..what kind of man...the one she's living with...can even live with himself knowing that he cant support her, so he's still allowing her H to do it...obvoiusly he is pretty desperate. If it were me, id feel like less of a man, that i cant even provide for my W...and id have to rely on her ex to provide for her. You know what? No more...she will scream bloody murder or file for D maybe..but its the right thing to do...the self-respecting thing to do. And only when she respects me, can she ever love me again. She knows that Im a good person now, she's said it. But she's still convinced I am the evil behind her pain, the reason she is stressed. But hopefully in time, she realizes that this guy isn't for her, he cant provide for her, that T is not the monster she makes me out to be.