New marriage over pt2--help she's filing this week

[Matt777]

Look. She knows you still care. I don't think a picture by your bed is the right move. Stop worrying about her so much and worry about you. If you dumped someone, then went to their house, what would you think if they put your picture by their bed?

[Aj8]

Hi Bob,

Thanks for checking in , still hard for me , have my good moments and bad , taking it day by day

[Aj8]

Matt , don't you think it would reinforce her beliefs that we are done Bc I took all our pics down from the apt? I really did it for me , to detach and work on myself, looking at our pictures just made me cry

[Bob723]

Thanks for checking in, still hard for me, have my good moments and bad, taking it day by day.

Hey Aj,

My pleasure, and I feel the same way, too. This board will not give up on you. Post for advice or to vent any time you need to. The best chance we have at "making it" is by thinking positive thoughts. It doesn't guarantee anything but it will help in the long-term.

Regards,

Bob

[Matt777]

Matt , don't you think it would reinforce her beliefs that we are done Bc I took all our pics down from the apt? I really did it for me , to detach and work on myself, looking at our pictures just made me cry

You tell me what you would think if it was the other way around. You just dumped someone. They took down all your pictures but added one to the nightstand?

Is that a strong, attractive person out getting a life?

Or is that a needy person clinging to the past crying them self to sleep looking at you?

[Aj8]

Putting it that way Matt you're right I'd look like a crying sap who hasn't moved on ...no pic by the bed ! Funny thing my MIL still keeps in contact with me , reduced me just now about the passing of my dog so my wife had told her . I don't want her to keep contacting me like everything is normal

[Aj8]

*texted me now not "reduced"

[Matt777]

You don't need to look like you've moved on. You need to appear like you aren't sitting around thinking about her all day. You need to look like you are capable of living your life with or without her.

As for MIL, the more positive interactions you can have with people around your W, the better. Your W won't listen to you right now. But she may listen to family and friends. Treat them well. But when around them, act as if!

[Aj8]

Thank you for all your help Matt , really appreciate this . You don't think she'll think I overdid it by taking down our pictures? I really did it for my sanity. Also with the MIL I didn't even bring up the divorce situation or that her daughter said I'll get the paperwork this week, in fact I didn't even bring up my wife nor did she . Is that good?

[Aj8]

Also she took not only me off but my family and friends off of Facebook, should I take her friends and family off? Her bro , sis , and sis love me , but she blocked me! don't think it's right she can still through them see what I'm up to ?