Zelda - Goodbye my almost lover, my hopeless dream

[Vanilla]

Z

WH plays this game too, I took his stuff, hired a storage locker and told him the combo.

I await the next counter.

V

[Bob723]

Hi Zelda!

I just wanted to stop by and inform you that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I have not forgotten about you! I haven’t been online too much lately and I’m trying to catch up on your situation.

Peace to you, my friend, and may each day be better than the previous. God's blessings to you. Hang in there!

((hugs))

Your friend,

Bob

[Vanilla]

Sweet Z

Are you ok, I concern myself with you

V

[Zelda09]

He signed the papers today. I feel so mixed up.

After two months of Nc, sent me a random text to ask if I'd tried to sign us up for health ins 2days ago. I didn't reply.

Then my friend told me he'd signed and demanded to know who I was with. That the paralegal had told him no one pushes this hard for a D unless an affair.

Friend told him I just wanted closure.

I hurt.

[TLEE86]

Hey Z- Im sorry..its all I can really say. Its crazy to think that H thinks your in an A...or that he even cares if your with someone else...like...he left...he has no say in what you do or don't do...but just obviously shows how crazy the mind of the WAS really is.

How are you feeling? Just a cluster of emotions Im sure...but hopefully this gives you the closure that you want/need. Thinking about you Z

[Vanilla]

Of course darling Z.

This is hurt and it's truly horrid hurt. Unnecessary and beyond that which is needed.

I just want to give you the biggest hug and say I am here to listen and be.

I will check in regularly.

(((((((Hugs)))))))

V

[Zelda09]

Mediator reported he sounded angry and confused prior to signing for about half an hour, but thst he would since it is what I wsnted.

My bff reported matter of factness. Him cgoing on about how he signed, bc I always get what I focus on, and sometimes I can't help focusing on my fears, Sonny Bono analogy. And then some 'poor me' I've lost all my friends stuff. Never once pulled the same confusion/anger card he'd done with mediator.

I almost reached out last night to tell him this isn't what I want. But didn't. There's not a bone in his body that really cares. I can look at my recordings and see how he's treated me and see that.

[JellyB]

Oh Z, I am so sorry for pain and confusion. You are well loved and supported here. Xxx you are in my thoughts JB

[Zelda09]

I'm fighting a very painful urge to contact him and tell him if he's really confused and angry, and doesn't want this...I don't either.

Pls let me rational.

IF he said ok and we went to counseling, that is still not him coming to terms with abuse or wanting to change. It is a repeat of our old cycle.

IF...my family and friends could not support after what they know. And o would. R living in panic and worry, not relaxed peace. Is he still on Tinder? Is it ok to bro g xyz up right now? Does he love me? No - trust is gone and it would be hell living with this.

IF - I would still feel confusion and hurt and if I asked him to clarify any of what hsppened, a man I don't trust still can twist and twist and twist.

IF - I still would deal with a life with no children. His possible drug issues, immaturity.

[WhyUs]

Zelda,

I hope this is not too personal. I have seen you mention abuse several times in your posts. Is this physical abuse or verbal? Maybe you have already said this and I overlooked it. The reason i ask is because my wife has told me I was verbally and emotionally abusive.