Thanks for stopping in again. What I mean by mediation is that it's basically the cheap mans version of the L process. But I'll take your advice and leave it be for now.
Mediation is similar here, with the wrinkle that it is intended also to help smooth the relationship going forward by limiting the contentious issues. Also, it probably makes reconciliation more likely, especially if you have a good mediator who has some training in couples therapy. That said, I think a lot of people shy away from it because it requires more personal involvement around something that is painful to them that they can't really justify and feel guilty about. They run to the seemingly easier (in the short-run narrow view approach) of going to the Ls. The other reason is that they are getting advice from someone who is stoking paranoia or greed. Either way, it says something about the unhealthy state your W is in.
She is not ready to face the sitch and deal with the painful mess of her decisions. The only decision then for you is whether you want to press ahead slow or fast, depending on whether you want or think her coming around in time is possible and desirable.
You are doing good to let go of that which you can't change and focus on the things you have some control over.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
