Abuse, ranting and damage are always unacceptable however it is. Frustration with ones own life is ones own responsibility.
Jelly, the type of abuse which is systamatic is very different to either situational or reactive abuse. screaming banshee was my reaction to WH, a response wholly unacceptable and ineffective. It's a behaviour I am deeply ashamed of, and a reaction to WH.
Situational abuse such as you describe for yourself is that which is a part of life, also unacceptable for every reason I can think of. It can stop and be redirected.
Full blown psychological abuse and which is systamatic arises out of permanent personality disorders or control, it sounds terrible but these guys know what they are doing, do it deliberately and feel no shame. They have no guilt and don't recognise they are responsible. They like it as it satisfies their need for control and they feel no need to change nor do they want to. This abuse is getting the abuser what they want and need. This is my WH.
Systamatic abusers may be held accountable for their actions because there are adverse consequences, and they may stop because of condemnation. Ultimately though there is no conscience for this abuser.
Jelly without going further I can truly say that by being here and working DB with everything you have, you hold yourself responsible for you and that which you do. That is enough to place you in the human race as falling short for a while and behaving unacceptably. Breathe, forgive yourself and as far as possible just atone. I have forgive Vanilla for her screaming banshee and made amends for that. I do believe it, and when this shadow character ever appears then I know there is something I need to do for myself otherwise she would not be there. There is much to learn.
U, can I assure you, most of us lovely ladies have the odd moment in our lives when we react in unacceptable ways. It isn't a life style choice and can be for a period in our lives, we learn and move forwards. Essentially I think and I truly believe men and women are more alike than we are different. many of the differences, men from Mars etc are statistically insignificant anyway. At our core we all have a higher power and the beliefs and actions that make us valuable human beings are common to both.
I worry about you U in your sitch. I am praying for you U and the best outcome for you and your family. Please take great care.
Peace
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 07/08/1510:10 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
