Working on it, but affair hasn't ended yet...

[t33]

^^ Tells you what you need to know, she is still all about the A and the OM. Regardless of how 'great' a weekend you two have.

With you availible, how does she miss you? How will she question what she has done? ... Right now, she won't

Yep. You and others have pointed this out multiple times, yet, it's so hard to actualize. We're still in best friend mode. Must be nice for her to go about her business and still have me. It's so hard for me to let go of my best friend. I wish I had a better pool of friends to draw from - it's just been so long since I've needed/wanted to do anything with anyone else.

5 Things you don't

• I work so many hours I'm not always around for my family
• I don't have many friends
• Other than work I don't really have any hobbies (or desire for any)
• I'm not as confident as people think I am
• My focus at work is not there and my performance is suffering

Can you see how Detaching, 180, PMA and most of all GAL would really nuke the top 5 things you are not happy about?

I suppose so. PMA and GAL make sense in dealing with this. Detaching yes, and I'm struggling with it. It's been so long since I've done anything for myself and not the W or family it is extremely hard - I guess that's the point. I keep re-reading sandi's post and try to implement them. Some I'm successful at, some I'm failing. Trying to figure out what other 180s I can apply.

Now next question, how much of that do you need to suffer through to start actually DBing and make some changes in your life?

You have been a constant voice of reason and support. Thank you for that. You must think I'm some kind of masochist at this point. I have a feeling I'm going to continue asking stupid/obvious questions. Just in a weird place.

it has you all up in her head and obsessed with what she does, where she goes, and whith whom ..... guess how she is obsessed with .. OM she can not have .. can you see the trend here>?

Hmm - Yep.

You need to become the better man in all this .. regardless of what your W does.

That is true. I feel I keep losing myself in all of this. I've made compromises and done things I'd never thought. This is a good ideal to strive for, I hope I can do that and not lose myself completely in the process. (I know, solution = detach). Strange how after 12 years of such attachment, it's so painful.