Like a jigsaw puzzle

[Squiggy]

Thank you both for redirecting me. I needed that. On a side note, I love the Jedi reference, Cali. Calm, detached, collected but still with a loving feeling.

One clarification about the NC letter. I meant in MC, not Retrouaville.

I guess I am going back to my old pattern of rushing forward when I know what I want and can see the path, even when what I see may not be what it truly is. I started back with remaining detached yesterday, and sure enough she pulls closer and has been messaging me all day today. I PMAed so hard this weekend I passed out in my chair Sunday night. The 180s I have been doing are still in place, because for the most part I have made them me. It was nice to be able to do them in real time with her.

I do struggle with the balance between the M and family. My viewpoint has been working on the marriage. She seems to be coming from the working on the family perspective. I can accept that for now as long as it aims at repairing the marriage.

She really is leaning on a return and on me. I've been asked numerous times today what job she should choose and such. She always looked to me for leadership, which I failed at enough time, and she is doing so again. I've been really working my 180s of being supportive and letting her make the decision. Hope you don't mind that I took a little from the blender of your Wonka's STFU smoothie...I seem to have that problem as well.

So back to the mirror again. Some of these feel natural to me at this point, but I'm sure they will be tested, and/or I need to keep being aware of them.

1. PMA, PMA, PMA.
2. Give W my undivided attention when talking.
3. Let her have space and GAL, even if it is in the home.
4. Patience. No pressuring.
5. Be supportive in her decisions as a parent. Speak at a later time, in soft tones, if I disagree.
6. Be like water. Do you know the Tao?
7. Be detached but do not harden my heart.
8. Stop mind-reading... Goes with the job, but it does not help here.