"So, what is this thing you know about OW that I don't know?" (I waved it off.)
"I have no idea if things will last with OW, I'm just having a good time." I nodded.
"We had a great relationship. I know you love me." I nodded.
All seeds of doubt she is starting to process. #2 I got from W .... recieved a "He's not you" early on before I was ever here Jan14.
Dif all 3 of these things are good, and yeah, as painful as it is ... even in my sitch the separation was required, required for my W to realize it was not solely me as the reason for her unhappiness, given time she was even more miserable with OM. She would never miss me if we did not split. My Separation is most likely going to be at the 2 year mark, something I questioned early on and one vet told me that at 2 years it would most likely be over .... well I am still here in the ring.
Do not look at the Sep as defeat Dif, it has to happen to speed things up with the A, it will begin to eliminate some of the drug induced feelings, the sneaking around and hiding things will be gone.
Like My W, yours checks in with you, shares things still ... keep that line open, just set your boundaries on things you need to. She knows you still love her, at this point feels she can do the A without any price to pay ... I have a hunch after separation when its easier for you to detach more, she will question if she is losing you ... then movement happens.
Originally Posted By: DifRent
Plus, she acknowledged that she can't accurately assess our relationship while in the middle of this torrid affair, and she hinted at certain creeping issues in her relationship with the OW, nothing specific. Interesting that she shared that.
Only argument we had was in the car on the way back over a FedEx notice for a package that one of us needs to go pick up - it was stupid and we even started laughing about it. She said, "I will be home tonight, but I'll be late. I miss my bed."
And on her way out the door she said, "I love you."
Makes my head spin... which is why as painful as separating is, I know we need to do it. She can't see anything clearly, and I'm starting to doubt my own sanity at times. These small glimpses of hope are certainly tempered by her insistence that we are DONE. Only the folks on this board don't think I'm crazy for continuing to love her.
All this ... still good things right? Take them for what they are, again ... resort to the 50% rule.
I chuckle at the "people on this board comment" (And totally agree with you) W was telling me a story about a friend of hers, cheated on her H and after they split H dropped rope and moved on, and she was critical of how the guy was dating a younger woman and left this 'poor girl', I STFU and asked "Did you expect him to be ok with the A and just wait around?" She started to answer and realized ... 'oh .. ummmm' I just smiled like Sylvester who at Tweety bird
